The state public education system cannot seem to adopt a statewide test for more than 5 years. School districts statewide have used the tests (TABS, TEAMS. TAAS, and now TAKS).

Therefore, San Antonio school districts have adopted a test that better fit the public education in their city.

The new instrument will be the Texas Assessment of Cognitive Operations (TACO). It will have a remedial version (Soft TACO), a regular version (Hard TACO), and an advanced version with many more pages (the Gordita.)

It will be graded on the standard bell curve (the TACO Bell ).

Districts receiving the lowest scores will be put on probation with a Basic Educational Appraisal-Not Satisfactory (BEANS). A second low rating earns the dreaded supplemental Remediation Factor for Individualized Education Deficits (REFRIED BEANS).

This rating system is expected to cause a lot of hot air at campus faculty meetings.

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Bonus Joke:

One Monday, the geography teacher said to her class that she wanted them to come up with a sentence using a city which showed they knew where it is. They were to come in with that sentence the next day.

Then Tuesday, she asked the students to mention their city and state, and explain how they could relate to it. The first student, Billy, said, "I use scotch tape. It is made at Minnesota Mining & Manufacturing company. Located in Minneapolis, Minnesota."

"Very good," the teacher said.

Next, Sally said, "I had a bowl of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes for breakfast. They are made in Battle Creek, Michigan."

When it got to Jim, he simply said, "Yuma, Arizona, comedians," and sat back down.

The teacher asked, "What is significant about Yuma, Arizona and comedians?"

Jim replied, "Simple. If you can't laugh, you don't have a sensa Yuma!"